Facing Myself
by Jenni Saba
Summary: {#FaceYourself} In which I face my Shadow and get a Persona. Everything that's happenes here is true.


_**The Reversed Magician**_

_**Weak, Powerless, Lack of Self Discipline, Lack of Qualifications, Lack of Education, Unskilled, Inadequate, Out of your Depth, Indecisive, Lack of Confidence/Self-Belief...**_

_I always thought I was a bitch. Like, I was somehow inferior to everyone else around me. _"You know you're nothing," _a voice taunted me. I knew who this was... it was I... a shadow of my true self. _"You always hide; try to keep yourself locked away from the world. The only time you show your face, and even then, you talk much. How pathetic."

_The girl, who looked just like me, appeared before me. I just stared at her. She was voice the thoughts I wanted I voice my whole life, but was too afraid to do before._ "I want to be normal," _she said,_ "I want to be able to speak, I want friends. The only friends I have are scattered all over the country, and I'm too poor to ever hope to meet them." _my friends that I met through Tumblr... she is talking about them..._

"And on top of that, my family is in shambles and my school shoves statistics in my face. What a bunch of assholes, right? I mean, they are always saying that I 'can do better'. Better? How can I do better when I am doing my best? Fucking retards." _it was strange. I felt like I was outside my body, watching myself. Like I was reading a book. _

"Why believe in me any way? I am helpless. I cannot do anything on my own, so I sit on my ass and wait to be told what to do. And, even when I am told what to do, sometimes I do not do it because I'm so tired from all the other shit forced down my throat."

_She was supposed to be me, but part of me wanted to deny her, just to see what would happen. _

"And all that aside, I really am tired of my mother's over protective bullshit. She thinks she's all tough and shit just 'because she grew up in Brooklyn. Give a break already! Shit…" _I will admit that, at the end of the day, I'm safe from harm, but… staying in the same house all day? I… don't like it. I hate it. _

"Speaking of bullshit, remember what that bitch Jessica pulled with us? Talk about change. She graduated, went to Tottenville, and became one of society's assholes." _Jessica Lusher, my former best friend. Last summer, I asked her to hang out with me, and she was more than happy to oblige. But she brought some of her other friends and ended up ditching me in the food court. _"Man, just when you think you really know someone, but, in realty, you don't. People are always fuckin' changing, including us." _the brunette sighed, her eyes closed behind blue and black-framed glasses. _"Speaking of assholes, Geno really need his shit together, starting with his mouth. He cusses like a fuckin' sailor." _She shrugged, _"But, I guess no matter how many times Mom or dad tell him, he won't stop. The way I see it, he's addicted to the word "fuck" almost as much as he's addicted to video games. Poor sap." _She sat on the floor across for me, _"Shit, our life fuckin' sucks. Right, me?"

_I looked at her, and blinked a few times. She raised a brow in question, kinda like the Rock did back in the 90's. _"What? Are you just gonna shit like and fucking idiot, or are you gonna deny me? I'm waiting for those words. You know the ones I mean, right?"

_I knew. Boy, did I ever know. She wanted me to tell her that she's wasn't me so that she could take the power of shadows nearby. "Why bother?" I said, looking down, "You're going to kill me either way, so what does it matter? You said it yourself, I'm hopeless. Completely useless." Slowly, tears streamed down my face, "The only I'm good for is… tears…" _

"Fuck… we really are pathetic. Well… you know what happens now, right? You accept me and get an awesome-looking Persona." _I nodded and she laughed, _"Shit… maybe we can do something for world with this power. Like, get rid of all the politically correct shit and get back to the way things used to be, back when Mom and Dad were kids." _For the first time in a long time, I smiled. "Yeah," I said, watching as she disappeared into a Humanoid-looking Persona, "you just might be right."_

"**Thou art I… and I am thou. Thou hast obtained Thea of the Magician arcane!" **

_Thea… I hope you can help me…_


End file.
